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Divorcing? Take the Time You Need

Divorce is not an event; it’s a process. Whether it takes three weeks, three months, or three years, nothing will be solved immediately. Take a deep breath and relax as much as you can.

There are steps most people go through in the process of a separation and divorce, similar to the steps in the grieving process after a death: denial, anger, grief, acceptance. A person in the denial stage can go through the motions of filing paperwork, but will not be “ready” for a divorce until the steps are completed.

Often partners do not progress through these steps at the same speed or same time. A spouse who has been secretly planning to leave the marriage for some time may have gone through all four stages before the spouse who’s left behind becomes aware there’s a problem. The process should and can wait until the second spouse works through his or her feelings.

Two issues should be handled expeditiously: You and the children must be safe. You and the children must have a roof over your head and food on the table. These are survival questions. Once they’re provided for, the rest can take as long as you need.

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Adapted from 101 Little Instructions for Surviving Your Divorce: A No-Nonsense Guide to the Challenges at Hand, by family law attorney Barbara J. Walton.  Available at online and local bookstores or directly from Impact Publishers, Inc., PO Box 6016, Atascadero, CA 93423, www.impactpublishers.com or phone 1-800-246-7228.
101 Little Instructions for Surviving Your Divorce
101 Little Instructions for Surviving Your Divorce
Price: $12.95

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