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Is Your Relationship in Trouble?
The following release is provided for our media friends. For additional information, email publicity@impactpublishers.com.
Is Your Relationship in Trouble?
Is your relationship stormy? Indifferent? One-sided? According to Pennsylvania psychologist, Dr. Michael S. Broder, these are the three categories of troubled relationships, which account not only for the alarmingly high divorce rate, but also the much higher percentage of significant non-married relationships that end.
A stormy relationship is one that has plenty of passion, but not necessarily of the positive kind. Positive passion is what we think of when we picture a relationship at its best. But when there’s an excessive amount of negative passion of the variety seen in stormy relationships, the result is a tremendous amount of anger and discomfort. At the extreme, these relationships can become abusive and even dangerous. A relationship with a lot of passion and little or no comfort can still be highly charged romantically and sexually. In some cases the most passionate sex actually occurs after the meanest and volatile arguments. The sad part is that the situation responsible for so much of the anger is never dealt with or resolved. Thus, the pattern can continue indefinitely.
The second category of troubled relationships is those that become indifferent. In this case, most — if not all — of the passion is missing. And although there can be a very comfortable living arrangement, partners may have little feeling or sexual desire for each other. Sometimes partners simply grow apart without anger, or there can even be as much anger present as there is in the typical stormy relationship. The main difference is that there’s just not the tendency to argue or do battle with each other. This may be a result of the partner’s personality styles, or the absence of passion altogether — including negative passion. Instead, the relationship merely begins to die a slow and quiet death. In other words, it may be brain alive but heart dead.
Finally, there are one-sided relationships. In these cases one person usually puts out much more effort and energy toward the maintenance, nurturing and survival of the relationship than does the other one. In a one-sided relationship one partner can be quite content — having all the passion and comfort he or she needs — while the other partner feels somewhat to totally unfulfilled.
In all types of troubled relationships it is important to ask: “What is the potential for change?” If the answer is “none,” the next question to ask yourself is, “Is this where I still want to be?”
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Adapted from Can Your Relationship Be Saved? How to Know Whether to Stay or Go, by Dr. Michael S. Broder. Available at online and local bookstores or directly from Impact Publishers, Inc., PO Box 6016, Atascadero, CA 93423, www.impactpublishers.com or phone 1-800-246-7228.
